There has been a wave of sexual assault allegations against some young men from private faith based schools. The headmaster of the all-boys St Joseph’s Catholic Marist College at Hunters Hill, Michael Blake, made a speech to his own students which has since gone viral. St Joseph’s College and its students are not linked to any alleged incidents.
Mr Blake used the wider public discussion to speak about the standards expected of young men, telling students that women who encounter a student from St Joseph’s should be safer because he is there.
“I want every young woman who encounters a St Joseph’s boy to be safer because you are there. Not safe from you, safer because of you.”
Mr Blake also argued that the dividing line between acceptable and destructive behaviour needed to be drawn well before conduct reached a criminal threshold. His address focused on the experiences of women for whom concerns about violence and personal safety can be an ongoing reality, rather than on the discomfort such allegations may cause men. This is what he said:
“It has been a difficult week to be a man. As you may be aware, over the past week there have been multiple reports in the media regarding young men and allegations of sexual assault and ill-treatment of women. It is a time when we as men may feel that we are being judged – being assessed for how we treat women. We might feel we have to justify who we are. It has been a week where, in particular, all-boys’ schools have come into the spotlight. The way we educate young men is under scrutiny. So, it has been a tough week to be a man, particularly in our setting.
I wonder if that is the way you are feeling? I hope not. In fact, I hope that what I just said felt jarring. I hope you were not siting there nodding along and thinking “woe is me” .
Because, as tough as this week might have been to hear the media stories, it has been infinitely harder to be a female.
It has been a life changing week for the women who are the alleged victims. We trust they are receiving the care and support they need, recognising that for those who experience sexual violence, this support must be ongoing and extend beyond the immediate circumstances.
It would have been a hard week to be a young girl. Beginning to understand the world around her and slowly becoming aware that there are situations in which she may be vulnerable simply because she is a girl. Learning that there may be places she doesn’t feel she can walk by herself, and situations in which she needs to be careful about who she trusts.
It would have been a hard week to be a young woman, wondering whether she is being valued for the person she is, or judged simply by how she looks. Wondering whether the boy she is with will respect her boundaries.
Whether the group of boys at the party can be trusted. Whether she can leave her drink unattended.
It has been a hard week to be a mother, looking at her daughter and knowing that, however much she wants to protect her, there will be times when she can’t. Wondering who her daughter is with, whether she is safe, whether the young men around her will look out for her rather than take advantage of her vulnerability. And perhaps looking at her son and asking an equally important question: What sort of young man is he when I am not there?
It has been an extraordinarily hard week to be a survivor of domestic violence, sexual assault or abuse. Because for them these are not simply media stories. A headline can bring back a room. A photograph can bring back a face. A description can bring back fear. It can reopen memories of violence, humiliation, powerlessness and the terrible experience of having your dignity disregarded at the hands of another person.”